Curse of the Crimson Throne

The Neighborhood Association...FROM HELL!
Being the adventures of the incredibly heroic and handsome Noaz Hardi and his surprisingly intelligent brother Goruza, with help from some other people named things like Mitch, Priscilla, and Ona

We had just rid the city of the plague called Gedrin Lam, and were surprised to see the city ablaze and rioting when we returned! Immediately, I was filled with concern for my neighbors and their families, so I cried “to the bar!”

I deftly navigated us through the twisting roads and back alleys of the city, even stopping to rescue a hapless noble from an angry mob. Goruza may have helped some, but surely it was I who facilitated the opportunity for Goruza’s heroism.

We arrived at the bar to find it just how we left it: barred, and populated only by Norm, Charles, and Club Foot Bertha. The only item missing was a bottle of rum that I had generously offered to Norm in compensation for tending the bar while Goru and I were away.

Once we collected ourselves we set out to secure the neighborhood. For the good of our neighbors and their families, we brought order to the chaos in the streets. We began by befriending what would have otherwise been an unruly band of looters. From there we recruited others and marched our way to the fisheries!

Surely the neighborhood will remember the name Noaz Hardi! Business at the bar will soar as people come to meet the heroic Hardi Boys and celebrate the good we have done for the community!

Ding dong, the black-hearted scumbag is dead. Also the king.

Everything started when the invitations started appearing. The most intrepid (or perhaps the most foolish) of Gaedren Lamm’s many victims each received a summons to Madam Zellara’s fortune-teller’s shop with promises of vengeance upon the old criminal. Gathering there, they all met for the first time: the street-savvy brothers Hardi, Noaz and Goru, whose pub had been burned in an old protection scheme (or, as it turned out, scam) of Lamm’s; Priscilla, the deaf Qadiri whose village cast her out, holding her responsible for the fire Lamm set to cover his tracks; the hard-bitten Ona, a former Lamb herself who suffered directly at Lamm’s hands for her entire childhood; and the wild northerner Mitch (or so the group insists on calling him; his true name is nearly unpronounceable to most Korvosans), whose nephew had been conscripted into the Lambs and eventually died for it.


How Madam Zellara found each of these souls remains a mystery, but once they were together she laid out her own case for vengeance against Gaedren Lamm and revealed the hard-won location of his current hideout, on the north shore of the river in an abandoned fishery. Our heroes (for lack of a better word) set forth that very night, and shortly after the stroke of midnight crept into Lamm’s lair. Stealth was quickly abandoned as the guard dog alerted the building to the presence of the intruders, and as the children fled into the city upon the dog’s death, Mitch was caught by surprise by the malicious gnome Hookshanks, the sadistic half-orc Giggles (who lived up to his name as the fight progressed), and Lamm’s lieutenant Yargin. Their surprise was short-lived as Ona and Goru faced them down while Priscilla tended to the fallen Mitch; the trio were quickly overwhelmed, Yargin falling to a devastating blow from Goru as he tried to flee.

The fight was quickly brought downstairs to Gaedren’s lair, who set his crocodile Gobblegut on the intruders by shooting it with a crossbow bolt. Quickly trapped between Ona, Goru, and Gobblegut’s pool, Gaedren fell with little resistance. Gobblegut, on the other hand, dragged Ona into his water with one savage bite, and it took the acrobatics and brute strength of the Hardi brothers to bring down the crocodile and get Ona to safety.

After ransacking Gaedren’s squalid quarters, our heroes discovered the two-weeks-old severed head of Zellara herself in a filthy hatbox, the face smeared with makeup in a crude attempt to make it lifelike, and her Harrow deck jammed beneath the stump of her neck. In addition to other, legitimate valuables, the group also discovered a brooch that Noaz was certain belonged to Queen Ileosa herself; such a find, the group hoped, might garner a sizeable reward for its return.

Any immediate plans were neatly upended upon our heroes’ return to Korvosa proper, as they found the city partially afire and plunged into anarchy. While they were dealing with Lamm and his cronies, it seems King Eodred II had died, and while the officials cried, “Long live the Queen!”, as many others howled for “the usurper whore’s” head. It is on the threshold of this chaos that we leave our victorious heroes.


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